Well, I Guess This Is Growing Up

Well, after many letters written, meetings attended, and people contacted, I, along with our IGV team’s president Nick, were able to raise $1500 to showcase our robot for National Robotics week in Washington DC this April. I cannot express how wonderful it feels to make such a contribution to a cause I love so much.

School is extremely interesting right now. I use the term interesting in a good way, but out of surprise rather than depth. Let me back up a bit.

Three weeks ago today, I had the job fair (“Tech Fest”) that I wrote about. Things seemed to go very well, but after staring at my phone for the time being, my lack of patience is affecting other areas of my life. I’ve been sensing a much stronger discernment from my family and friends in the recent weeks that causes me to doubt myself, and I believe this is due to my uncertainty with the job situation. Now, I’ve kept applying in the meanwhile (in fact, I sent out another Disney application only earlier this week), but because of the value that I felt while talking to the Tech Fest rep, my mind seems enveloped on perusing that heading and seeing how far it takes me. Limited feedback sends mixed signals, which has seeped into all other social aspects of my life.

I promise I don’t enjoy it. But I will endure it.
Actually, I spoke with the same rep that I had met originally a short while ago. She had explained that only one person at this company was currently working on the hiring process, so the pace would be a bit slower than usual; regardless, she was extremely nice and very adamant in re-expressing the value seen so far in me. To add to her confidence, she offered to call me personally if things don’t end up working out.

I don’t mind moving around from company to company for a bit. On the contrary, I believe that I would feel the most worth from my life if my experiences involved varying employment opportunities, much as I find worth in life from my varying relationships. As one of many people applying for this company, I understand my chances are just that: chances. I guess the thing I worry most about overall is having a career-oriented job.

Sometimes I joke about my future, because I find there’s so much left in it that I shouldn’t sweat small things. Sometimes I set myself goals to push further in a certain direction; for example, I told Ashley that if I get a full-time engineering job before we get married, then I’m renting a Ferrari for our honeymoon. Of course, I’d love to have that experience, so it helps push me further.

Anyway, back to the thing about school being interesting: while I wait for something to pop up in the job market, my efforts in the classroom are focusing more and more on improving my professional engineering performance. And in a strange way, I find more comfort in my classes now than I do hanging out with friends on a typical basis.

Isn’t that crazy?

I enjoy classes because it gives me a challenge that I can tackle with people that I work well with. Sharing discussions and planning strategies to solve abstract issues is something that I not only do well, but I enjoy doing it. Writing those letters with Nick was a great way to spend a Saturday afternoon, and I can’t for the life of me explain why I’d rather do that than… well, a lot of things (one of which is run cross country, but that’s a story for another day).

This time of life involves a lot of change, and my ability to adapt will be crucial to the outcome regardless of whichever company and people I end up with. I find certain people that I work well with, and I find companies whose goals are in line with mine, but the only thing I can actively influence is myself, and when I see that my influence is contributing to the causes that I love… well, there is no greater honor that I know.

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~ by MichaelStaudenmeir on March 11, 2011.

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